Letting go sucks. It hurts and those ups and downs, and that back and forth is really exhausting. The back and forth between knowing that it’s over and the hopes for another chance.
The last time I had to let go was one of the hardest times of my life.
Well, I guess it always is…
I really didn’t want to let go. I kept holding on to him, I had hoped for a miracle because what we had was one for me.
It was his decision to go, and I tried to pull him back by reminding him of the beautiful moments we shared. However, by doing so I just pushed him further away.
So I learned, once again, the hard way, that no matter how beautiful life can be, it’s not going to be like this forever. No matter if you go, if he does, or if life or death separates you.
Nothing in life is forever, except the love that we feel, the love that we are and share with one another.
Today I want to share my love with you in the form of a beautiful process, to support you letting go of someone.
Start with it, whenever you are ready to let go.
It’s called the “10-step process to let go” and it’s from the Austrian coach August Hoeglinger.
I’m directly addressing the person who is no longer part of my life. Basically, I’m writing a letter. Please note, that this is only for yourself and not intended to be sent to or seen by that person.
Write down whatever comes to your mind for each step.
There is no rule that you have to do the first one first and the 10th at last. You can do it in any order, you can even interrupt one and start another step, add some more things to a previous one.
You don’t have to write the 10 steps at once, actually, it’s good to do it over a period of time. Sometimes it takes me weeks, or even months to finish it.
There are days or weeks where I don’t feel like continuing, then I just don’t write until I remember it again.
If you cannot think of writing anything about one step, skip it. Maybe something will come up later in the process.
Only write what you really feel in that very moment, and not what you think would be appropriate, or what you think you should write.
Be honest, be open, get it all out.
Be as angry, as sad, as desperate, as grateful, happy and loving, as you feel in that very moment.
Write down everything that comes to your mind until you cannot think of anything anymore, then move to the next step.
Here are the 10 steps:
1. “I hold against you…”
2. “I thank you for…”
3. “I forgive you…”
–> Finish this step with the sentence (and you might want to speak it out loud):
“I forgive you everything you have done to me, from the bottom of my heart”.
4. “I am sorry…”
–> “I am sorry for everything I have done to you, from the bottom of my heart”
5. “I forgive myself…”
–> “I forgive myself everything I have done to you and to me, from the bottom of my heart.”
6. “I miss you…”
7. “I love you…”
8. “I honour and respect you…”
9. “It will go on well…”
10. “I ask you for…”
–> “May I please have your blessing”
If you have any questions, or if you want to seek support in your personal process of letting go, you can contact me here.
What tips or tricks do you have that help in the process of letting go?
I’d be happy if you shared them with us in the comments below.