Once again I realized why life sometimes seems difficult and exhausting. It’s not change that’s knocking at our doors but our resistance to it, our fears, our lack of willingness or courage to open the door and to welcome change into our lives.

The fight to keep the door closed and avoid change costs energy and is tedious.
We are aware of some issues that we have, either with situations, with other people or relationships, that we are not happy with.
Over time we have learned to adjust. Our situation might not be ideal but often enough we feel some kind of relieve when we hear that other people’s lives are worse than our own. That gives us confirmation to keep living the way we are used to because we are reminded that it could be worse.

But what, if it could be even much better than it is?
Instead of choosing the lesser evil we could go for something that really makes us happy…
Instead of lowering our standards we could start figuring out what it is that our heart is longing for and go for it and get aware that we deserve it.
The worst case that could happen is to live a happy and fulfilling life…

To get from where we are to were we want to be, change is essential.
We cannot expect different results with the same behavior. Albert Einstein would call that insanity.
That doesn’t mean that we have to change our whole life. It doesn’t even mean, that we have to change something outside of ourselves.
Change of any kind always starts within us.
Most likely it’s not even the situation, the person or the relationship that makes us unhappy, but our attitude and what we believe and think about it/them.
What causes the feeling of unhappiness in most cases are our expectations and our perception of how things are supposed to be. The gap between what we want and what is brings pain, frustration, anger and it all leads to suffering.
That means that we can also start to change things in our thoughts, in our mindset, in our belief system.
Change within us brings change outside of us.
Even if the new situations seem to require us getting used to it, we can be sure that we will get used to it quickly. And once we are, we realize that the new situation is better than the old one.
And if not, we will find someone out there whose situation is worse than our own… 😉
first published in german on june 12th, 2012