I had a dream. Last night. Another one as Martin Luther King, however, I just understood its main message, and I wanted to share it with you.
In this dream I was in Paris with my Dad. I had just moved there and I didn’t know anyone yet. I was scared and I was sad because I had no support system whatsoever.
I cried. I cried a lot just before my Dad left to go back to Austria.
Seeing me in that pain he told me that I didn’t have to stay in Paris. I knew he was right, but going back home was not an option for me. My Dad didn’t understand why I’d rather stay and be scared and sad, than going an easier path, one that was less painful.
When I woke up, I still felt a heaviness upon my chest. I knew that there was something right about this dream. I wondered if there are still some suppressed emotions coming to the surface, that were connected to the pain of saying good bye to everyone in Austria. And maybe it is one part of it.
The message that I now understood is not pretty, yet (or better ‘because’) it’s the truth:
Don’t avoid pain, just because you can.
Now that doesn’t mean that we have to take every risk that life is presenting us, but deep down we know what is right and what is not.
If we learn to trust our intuition, and start to rely on our gut feeling, we become willing to be uncomfortable and capable of going through pain and challenges. We open up to the unknown.
We even invite all of this into our lives, because we know that they are an unavoidable part of it. An important part, actually, because we either learn and grow from this experience, and/or we heal a part of ourselves, that needs to be healed.
For the first time in my life, I am going through a phase where I feel pain that I can’t classify, yet, I don’t try to understand it. I don’t take it apart, I don’t analyze it, I don’t avoid it and I don’t try to make it go away. I’m sitting with it, but I am also not holding on to it. Not knowing what it is.
“It is misfortune
It is nothing but pain
It is hopeless
It is what it is
~ Erich Fried