Our ego believes if we get what we want, then we are happy.
And our egos might be satisfied indeed, but usually that kind of happiness fades as quickly as it came.
As soon as we see another child with an even more exciting toy, we want that one and the circle repeats. Endlessly. As we grow, the toys and their prices grow, too.
Once I wrote in a friend’s birthday message something like: “I don’t wish you that all your wishes come true, but rather that you are liberated of having wishes, so you can enjoy and celebrate what you have and who you are.”
But isn’t wanting to not having any wishes just another try to be happy?
Isn’t that the same, just better disguised?
Instead of a villa with pool, or winning the lottery, we now wish to not have any wishes and only when we are free of wishes, we will be happy…?
Nope. Won’t work either.
Once we sniff happiness, we want to hold on to it, we get addicted to it, and we want to keep that “high”.
We want to feel happy, joyful, connected, loved etc, ideally all the time, and once it starts to fade, we try everything to get it back, to stop the pain, and we get desperate, if we don’t see immediate results.
Some find ease and relief in alcohol, others in drugs, work, sports, money… the list to compensate for the lack of happiness is endless, and yet, there is another widely known and commonly accepted path, that feeds the addiction to happiness:
(I just use that word now as a general term for everything that’s about self-help, “healing”, self-reflection, personal growth, higher powers, new age stuff, and even yoga…)
Spirituality has grown to an incredibly big business of promises to make us be joyful, wealthy, connected, successful, beautiful, healthy, loved… you name it.
In our desperate search for happiness we spend tons of money on workshops, for instance, about how to attract money for people who have issues with it. They spend money that they don’t have, so they can learn how to attract it, because they believe that once they have money they will be happy. Because only then they can buy everything they think they need in order to be happy.
We believe, that it works, because we feel happier during and a while after this seminar or that workshop.
But if we use spirituality, to ease the pain, eradicate suffering, and to be happy instead, we just create another well disguised ego driven roller coaster, that keeps us imprisoned in our addiction to happiness, while making us believe that we are free.
And yet, there is nothing wrong with it, as long as we don’t fool ourselves to believing that spirituality will give us everything we desire…
As long as we know that we don’t need it, but rather choose it, to pamper ourselves, or to take a shortcut once in a while.
As long as we see it for what it is:
A source of wisdom and knowledge that can provide wonderful support, and lift some of the weight that we put upon us; that provides trainings and tools that we need to apply ourselves to actually make a change in our lives.
And don’t buy it for what it often is sold to us:
THE solution to limitless wealth, eternal health and happiness (for just a couple of thousand Euros).
Happiness is a journey, not a destination.
And by the way:
Who said that we are supposed to be happy?